Your children are not your children …

The Paradox of Parenting:

Learning When to Hold On and When to Let Go

“Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.  They come through you but not from you,  And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

- Khalil Gibran

These words from "The Prophet" first found me in high school, gifted by a dear friend at a time when I was just beginning to understand my own identity. As an only child and the center of my parents' world, these lines shifted something fundamental in how I saw myself — not just as someone's daughter, but as an individual on my own unique journey.

Now, decades later, as both a parent and therapeutic consultant, Gibran's wisdom resonates with even greater depth. Every day, I witness families grappling with one of parenting's most challenging paradoxes: knowing when to hold on and when to let go.

The Challenge of Letting Go

When families come to us at Crossbridge, they're often facing some of their most difficult moments. Their children might be struggling with mental health challenges, educational difficulties, or both. As parents, their every instinct screams to hold tighter, to fix everything, to keep their children close and protected.

But sometimes—and this is where Gibran's wisdom becomes so profound—the most loving choice we can make as parents isn't to hold tighter, but to create space. Space for growth. Space for healing. Space for our children to discover who they truly are.

Making the Hardest Choices

This might mean considering options that feel counterintuitive to our parental instincts—like therapeutic support or residential treatment. These decisions can feel like letting go, and in a way, they are. But they're also a profound form of holding on—holding on to hope, to our belief in our child's potential, and to our trust in their capacity to find their way.

I've seen it time and again: when we provide children with the right environment and support, incredible transformation becomes possible. It's not always a straight path. There are often setbacks and challenges along the way. But when we can trust the process—when we can step back enough to let our children step forward—we create the conditions for genuine growth and healing.

Growing Together

Perhaps the most beautiful part of this journey is that it's not just our children who grow. As parents, we grow too. We learn to trust more deeply, to love more wisely, and to understand that our role isn't to mold our children into who we think they should be, but to support them in becoming who they're meant to be.

Gibran's words remind us that our children come through us but not from us. They have their own paths to walk, their own wisdom to discover, their own journey to unfold. Our job isn't to walk the path for them, but to provide the support they need to walk it themselves.

Moving Forward

If you're a parent facing difficult decisions about your child's wellbeing, know that you're not alone. The path forward might not look like what you imagined, but sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for our children is to create the space they need to heal and grow.

At Crossbridge, we're here to support you in navigating these challenging decisions with compassion, wisdom, and hope. Because sometimes, the greatest act of love is having the courage to let our children find their own way.

If you're seeking guidance in supporting your child's journey, we invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore the best path forward for your family.